enjoy being an adult
It depends on what you do
Do you remember your first times and that freedom you felt when you stepped into adulthood:
- first time you drove a car
- first time you traveled with friends
- first time you had a glass of wine or a cigarette
- first time you wore bras
- first time you wore high heels
- first time you made love
- first time you had your own place?
All these first times you’ve been waiting for for so long.
All these things you were eager to try.
And all the times you had to rebel, in a hurry to dive into the world, while your parents wanted to protect you?
I remember those days. I remember the heart beat, the short breath, the proud and the freedom I felt.
Fresh, new, exciting, doors opening.
Then, I got used to it.
I got used to driving, to traveling on my own, to wearing bras or high heels.
And everything became just normal.
Having a man in my bed? Routine.
Being able to drink a glass of wine? Routine
Not asking permission to go out? Routine.
And routine is the reason why I wanted to try this self-care act yesterday.
Enjoy being an adult: do whatever I want. Call my friends. Take naps. Go out with a new friend of mine at night. Have drinks. Have fun.
But when I woke up in the morning, I visualized my day and almost abandoned this self-care idea.
How would I enjoy being an adult and do whatever I wanted to when I had to:
– clean up the mess in our place
– write my post
– work on some other writings
– take care of administrative and financial stuff
– shop, make dinner, take care of the kids, tuck them to bed…?
Too many constraints….I was about to cancel.
But while I was vacuuming the carpet, I realized I could leave the house messy for a day, not do the cooking, not work on my writing…
And I also realized I was doing these things because I wanted to. I want to live in a clean place, I want to cook healthy meals for my kids, I want to write…
And that’s when it hit me: enjoying being an adult is not about doing what you want when you want and being totally free.
It’s about making the choices that are important to you while enjoying the rest of your time doing things you want to do.
So I kept cleaning.
And I texted Hubby –and not my new friend- to ask him out.
All day long, I was excited to go on a date with the man I love.
I wrote. I shopped. I took care of the kids. I danced with them in the kitchen.
I took a shower, got ready, listened to love songs.
And Hubby came and we took the kids to bed.
Then we had dinner in the kitchen.
We had a glass of wine.
And walked to the bar next door.
We talked and talked and talked.
On our way back home, we found a papasan chair in the street, right in front of our building.
Hubby crashed in it. He wanted to smoke his cigarette in there.
I laughed and joined him.
We were making noise.
One of our neighbors opened her window to see what was going on.
She didn’t ask us to stop. Instead, she joined the conversation.
Us on the chair. She at her window.
After a couple minutes, we were at her place.
They sipped whiskey from the bottle.
I took pictures. Placed silly phone calls.
And then Hubby and I decided it was time to climb up the stair.
I won’t tell you how this self-care ended. But we had lots of fun.
And you know what? We can. Because we’re adults.
WHY IS IT SELF-CARE? Trying this self-care act is a powerful reminder that as adults, we are free to do most of the things we like, and get rid of self-imposed constraints.
MORE ABOUT THIS
Yesterday, I fell in love with a song and listened to it like a teenage at least 10 times.
It’s a jewel and to quote His Dudeness: it hurts the soul.
Perfect from Ed Sheeran.