create an evening ritual
Do you sometimes have the following thoughts:
- you’re crossing a street and suddenly you think that you could be hit by a car and everything ends up there
- you’re watching the news and see countless refugees who had normal lives -just like you- before they were hit by war or hatred?
- you’re in a mall, a concert or at a show and you think that at any time, a fanatic of any kind could come and take your life and that of the people around you in a second?
I fortunately don’t have these thoughts in mind all the time.
But sometimes, I have flashes.
They’re scary but I take them as healthy reminders.
At any time, my life –your life- could change dramatically and become something I have shivers just thinking about.
But this is not the scariest part.
The scariest part is that there is nothing we can do about it.
Being alive, healthy, safe, with the people we love around us is a privilege we have no control over.
We can’t decide to be 100 % safe.
We can reduce the chances of getting mugged, by not walking at 2 am in the empty street of a dangerous neighborhood for example, but we cannot prevent an accident to happen.
When I have those thoughts and I come to the conclusion that there is nothing I can do, half of my stress is relieved. If there is nothing I can do, then there is nothing to worry about.
And then I think that the only thing I can do that makes sense to be thankful for what I have.
So yesterday, I decided to start a new ritual. I did it from time to time but not on a daily basis.
Every night, before sleeping, I will express my gratitude.
Through a kiss to the kiddos innocently sleeping, a “good night” to His Dudeness watching his phone’s screen, a thought to the people I love. My dad, my siblings, my family, my friends…
And I will thank life for being able to be back home, in a warm bed, Hubby besides me, safe and comfy.
What is more important in life?
WHY IS IT SELF-CARE? Rituals are a set of pattern that make life easier. They create a comforting environment and have the power to make us feel safer.
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This self-care act is close to the one in which I listed all the blessings in my life.
That day, I thought about all the things I was thankful for and my list was long.
Yesterday, I wanted to create a ritual about gratitude to be able to feel my many privileges on a daily basis.
I’m sure it will increase my overall happiness.
But gratitude is just a way to create a beneficial ritual.
Many of my friends have inspiring rituals.
I won’t cite their names but they will recognize themselves:
- one of my friends walks every morning in the forest with her dogs
- another of my friends talks to her sister every evening
- my mom used to drink tea every evening after dinner
- another friend of mine, goes to the Hammam every Friday
- another one Thanks God after her evening prayer and asks for protection for the people she loves
- another one has been journaling every day for the last decades
Rituals are little habits that comfort us and have the power to make us happier, feel safer.
Sounds self-care to me.