SELF-CARE ACT#217

place a blind order

CATEGORY

Psychological

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TIME

Zero

BUDGET

Same as placing a non-blind order

This is an apparently silly act of self-care but you have to try it to see how much we want to have control over our lives, even for decisions that have absolutely no consequences on it, like ordering a meal.

This self-care is very easy to try: go to a restaurant with friends and when asked by the co-owner of the tiny place “What would you like to have?”, reply: “Could you please decide for me?”

Witness stupefaction on his face. And have him ask you again to make sure he got it:

 –   Sorry, what would you like?

 –   Could you please decide for me? I’d be happy to eat whatever you want to bring me.

From the open kitchen, look at the other co-owner, his wife, who smiles. Next to her, the cook is amused too.

The one who took the order goes back to the kitchen. There, a discussion goes on. The co-owners and the cook disagree on the order. You can’t hear what they’re saying but they laugh and tell you they had to compromise to decide.

While you’re waiting for the food, you’re talking to your friends, playing with the kids, apparently totally relaxed. But part of you is goign through a slightly perceptible anxiety: what am I going to have? Will I like it? Why don’t I try to guess what they’re bringing based on the few words I heard? Is it fish? Chicken?

This set of questions is what this post is about: Why this need to know? Why this anxiety?

Probably because deep down inside, in our reptilian brain, we want security. We want to have control. We want to feel safe.

Problem is that sometimes, this automatic safety net is totally useless.

Worse, it’s counterproductive: it prevents us from trying new things and exploring the world.

You want to know the funniest part of this act? It’s the name of the restaurant: La découverte (Discovery).

Interesting coincidence, don’t you think so?

WHY IS IT SELF-CARE? In our daily lives, we make more decisions that we want and too often, we’re overwhelmed. Learning to let go on small daily acts makes life easier, lighter and brings perspective to it: most of the decisions we make in our daily lives are minor ones and we put way too much energy in them than they deserve.

MORE ABOUT THIS

I’m traveling right now and travels are a perfect occasion to do things differently and learn that we can enjoy life without our usual comfort.

The pickier we are, the harder it is to enjoy what we have. Something is always missing: this bed could be more comfortable, this room could be sunnier, this meal could be warmer, spicier, tastier…

As human beings, we are imperfect and experimenting that feeling that something is missing is just normal.

Instead of trying to look for perfection, try to be happy with whatever imperfection you have.

Don’t visualize the ideal vacations before you leave because your vacations will not be ideal if you expect them to.

Enjoy the sunshine if it’s sunny. Don’t regret that there is too much wind and look at the bright side of things: the wind makes beautiful waves to look at. And when it’s windy, it feels great to take a nap in a cozy room with a book or a partner.

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