call a friend I haven’t spoken to in years





30-45 minutes



Yesterday, I called Aicha, one of my closest friend for years. I haven’t spoken to her for at least 5 years.

Don’t ask me why. I don’t know. It just happened.

After being colleagues, week-end buddies and unconditional daily support for each other for years, we drifted away when I changed jobs.

Moving to the US reduced our chances of randomly bump at each other.

I missed her along the way. So a couple days ago, I decided to surprise her with a phone call.

But I couldn’t manage to get her: Aicha never answers the phone if she doesn’t recognize the incoming number. So I had to leave a message and the surprise was spoiled.

Then, we tried to catch each other for the following two days unsuccessfully until yesterday.

And then, I got her and asked loudly:

– Hey, how are you? (laughter, laughter, laughter)
– I’m great, how are you? (laughter, laughter, laughter)
– Good talking to you (laughter, laughter, laughter)
– Yes…and wow, the voice and the laughter are the same. It’s just like we spoke yesterday.
– Yeah, I know…I can’t believe it.
– So, what are you doing?
– I just finished having brunch, kids are playing and I’m in the mood for a little nap.
– A regular Sunday morning then.

A regular Sunday morning. That was it.

Talking to her seemed as natural as this little nap I like taking after Sunday brunches, as natural as going out for a walk on a summer evening.

It’s weird but I guess that’s what real friendships are.

You don’t see or talk to each other for years and the day you do, it feels like you never stopped.

My dear friends, I’m very happy I have nothing special to share with you today but a regular Sunday morning with Aicha on the phone.

And I’m curious, did the same thing ever happen to you?

Please comment below to share your experience with our community of Self-Carers. Love to all and thanks

WHY IS IT SELF-CARE?  Connecting with old friends brings the memories back in you: always intense and deep, especially if the feeling that nothing has changed is mutual.


To be honest, I was a bit disappointed I wasn’t able to surprise my friend (read post for details).

I hope you are more lucky with that when you try.

One recommendation:

When you’re calling, make you have some free time ahead of you. If you have kids, make sure they’re being taken care of, at least for the first 10-15 minutes of the call, so that you can fully enjoy meeting up with your friend again.

If you try this self-care act or if you’ve done it already, I’d be really happy to know about your experience.

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