SELF-CARE ACT#28

skype with my family

CATEGORY

Emotional

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TIME

1 h

BUDGET

Zero

Yesterday, I went to my dad’s place via Skype to celebrate my niece’s first birthday in Casablanca.

It was a busy birthday.

My brother Ali called me around noon. He said hi and made sure the connection was ok.

Then he gave the phone to my dad who wanted to show me his new harmonica skills.

My dad gave the phone to someone to hold and started to play.

He took it back to ask me if I liked the piece. Satisfied, and before I said yes, he reversed the phone and started showing me around.

A moving crowd was filling the living room.

People waived at me, shouting “we miss you, we miss you”, while others didn’t realize I was there.

My cousin jumped from one side of the screen to the other to say hello.

Then, my dad decided he was tired of holding the phone and gave it to my sister.

Then something happened and they started shouting. Or singing. I don’t know.

That’s when my sister decided it was time to go outside, before changing her mind and bringing me back to the living room.

There an extra large zoom of my brother’s teeth said hi again before freezing in a blurry grin.

Connection lost.

I won’t describe the several reconnection attempts that followed during the conversation but I’m sure all of you who have family in another country know what I’m talking about. It was something like this:

You: hey, Ali, can you hear me?
Your brother: yes, yes I can hear you. And you?
You: yes, the connection went off.
Brother: what?
You: I don’t know what happened. The connection went off
Brother: you know what? I can’t hear you, hang up. I’ll call you again.

Second time:
You: hey Ali. Can you hear me?
Sister: it’s not Ali. It’s me, Zaza. Can you hear me?
You: yes, how are you?
Sister: I’m good, I’m good. Ali, give the balloons to Leila. And you, Meryem how are you? Everything fine?
You: yeah, I’m….
Sister: no Ali, the balloons to Leila, Leila. So Meryem, all is fine?
You: yeah, good to …
Sister: wait, wait, I can’t see you anymore. Turn the cam on and off. Wait, you know what? Hang up, I’ll call you back.”

Well, I will spare you the details of the other attempts but when the connection finally came back, we stopped trying to talk.

The phone went from one hand to another. I was just smiling, kissing and waiving. Sometimes, I would bring my hand to my lips or my heart. And I would see their hands do the same in return.

It’s always sad to be far away from home.

But our time is easier than any other and I’m grateful I have this family anecdote which reminds me of it: in the 60’s, my grandma lived in Tangiers, and she would talk to my mom in Casablanca over the phone and tell her, sadly, because it was impossible: “daughter, if only they built phones in which I could see you!”

Did you like this post? Please share it. It would mean a lot to me and help your friends take better care of themselves.

WHY IS IT SELF-CARE?  Being able to see and talk to your family when you’re homesick?  Emotionally priceless and absolutely self-care.

MORE ABOUT THIS

For this self-care to be good experience, I have 2 VERY important recommendations:

1. If the WiFi is poor, don’t get angry. Remember that a few years ago, you’d never had the chance to see your family unless you took a plane.

2. If the WiFi is terrible, hang up and reschedule the talk for another time. Several successive unsuccessful attempds in a row are frustrating and upsetting. Anti Self-Care.

3. If you’re talking to a lot of people at the same time like I did in this post, don’t try to have a real conversation. Be happy to be here and that’s it.

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